Sorry for the lack of posts the last couple days! I have been in bed with a bad stomach virus, and have just now barely rejoined the land of the living. You know what's funny, though? Everyone seems to think being sick is necessarily a bad thing, but the last couple days have been pretty good. True, I spent 10 hours puking and then spent the next 5 hours at Student Health, but I've also realized how loved I am. Sometimes, I feel really, truly alone in the world. But when I said I felt sick, Paul (my Awakening husband) drove me home. The next morning, I called my parents, who were utterly confused as to why I was calling them when I have so many friends. Lindsey got out of bed and got me powerade and came to hang out with me in Student Health and went to my bio lab to ask about my homework. My ASB site leader called me to ask if she could help. My brother drove across town to bring me coke and crackers. Jeff bought me soup (and an ice cream sandwich, but we'll focus on the soup). One of my friends came over today to interview me for her class and she asked me about my perspective on living with a disability and surviving cancer, etc, and I feel like so often I give a stupid answer like, "God got me through it," or "We just have to keep fighting our battles," as if suffering is nothing more than a tragedy and God just encourages us through it or something. Really, though, deep-down, I know that suffering, whether in an overtly horrific form like cancer or in a simple stomach virus, is an opportunity for us to accept God's love and to participate in His redemptive suffering, to participate in His love. Only when we are at our lowest, most vulnerable points is Christ able to show us how much He truly loves us, because it's only at those moments that we're willing to accept that love. The idea that we can do anything on our own, even breathe, is a mirage. The truth is that God is cradling us in His palm always, but we're too proud and ignorant to notice. And the chance to participate in Christ's Passion? That is the most amazing gift we could ever hope to receive, a chance to add our suffering to His, a chance to participate in His redemption of the world. But all we ever want is out. "Just take the pain away." We should be overjoyed whenever we are given an opportunity to suffer with Christ. But we're all so weak. I'm so weak. Christ humbly accepted death on a cross for my salvation, and I literally begged Him to end my earthly life because of a stomach cramp. And yet, I'm still so loved, because no matter how weak we are, Christ never gives up on us.

I'm praying for you!

:)