The first Sorrowful Mystery is the Agony in the Garden.
Usually, when I think or talk about this mystery, my attention is all on the Apostles, falling asleep behind Jesus while He prays.
What I lose sight of so often, though, is that this mystery is about Jesus' very real agony in the garden, meaning that this mystery is about Jesus' pain and suffering, something much greater than the disappointment of friends who can't stay awake.
What I also often lose sight of is the word mystery, which denotes something beyond mere human comprehension. Thus, the apostles, whose actions I can understand and even recognize in my own life, are not the focus of the mystery. There is nothing mysterious about weak humans falling asleep while someone else is praying or in pain.
The true mystery is the fact that Jesus was in AGONY. As difficult as it is for me to admit it, Jesus died for me, and He did so willingly yet painfully. It is not as if Jesus simply marched up to Calvary, patiently died a peaceful death, and then rose and said, "Ta Da! You're saved!" This sacrifice was difficult for Him.
This moment in the garden is a moment in Jesus' life when we can truly see that He is at once Divine and human, two natures in one person. He is in such terrible pain at the knowledge of His impending death that He prays that He might not have to endure it.
When I reflect on His pain, His tortuous agony, I can see more clearly how great a sacrifice He made for me and all mankind. This was not a show, a performance, a completion of a formality. This was real suffering.
Therefore, if my understanding is correct, when we hand our sins to Christ, joining them to the cross, it must be a true joining. When He died for us so long ago, He felt not just the pain of hanging on the cross. He truly suffered for all sins which have been and will ever be joined to the cross.
Thus, I don't just upset God when I sin or make Him slightly sad, I actually cause Him, in the Person of Christ, real physical and emotional pain, not some kind of Divine pain of which I have no conception, but human pain that I can understand and relate to.
Jesus knew this. He knew what He had known since before time began, that He would suffer once for all our sins, the most intense pain that anyone has felt or will ever feel. He knew this and He accepted this. God humbled Himself to the point that we could hurt Him, that we could kill Him, and then He used that pain to save us from our own sins.
I could go on forever about how mysterious it is that God could suffer, but I think I've rambled enough for one night, and I don't want to drift into blasphemy accidentally :O
If you have anything to add (or disagree with), please let me know! I love discussions about Rosary Mysteries :)
Tomorrow, I will keep meditating on this Mystery, namely the fact that Jesus says, "Let Your Will, not Mine, be done." I might need to do some research before this meditation, though - explaining the Trinity is not really my strongest subject.
I'm praying for you!
:)
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